GOING NOWHERE

     

Life seems to be difficult for those who only believe in their negativity. Life is simple only if you would stop complaining and whining and focus only on what you were meant to be.

Like they say, "the weak get trampled upon by the brave" but this century is no longer Rome and the time of Alexander has passed. Time changes everything and puts all things in it's place. To go nowhere you have to sink in the past because going nowhere means making no progress. In order for you to make progress there are certain characters you must exhibit, certain attitudes you must portray. But we are not here for that. I am here to outline and to explain certain behaviours men exhibit that will keep them stagnant for life. If you wish to make any progress, if you wish to go somewhere, if you want to leap above your mates, then you must avoid these attitudes at all cost.

1) PROCRASTINATION

      There was this story of a man who died a poor wretched man because he was always procrastinating. Procrastination simply means postponing what you are supposed to do today till tomorrow. It also means doing one thing even though you know you should be doing something else.

When he was 18 he sat down under a tree and reflected on his past and what he wanted to be in the future. I need to start working hard, I need to start saving for my future, I want to be a great man he said. But immediately laziness and fatigue came in, he thought of how to begin, how to start working his ass off at his age and he said "not to worry I am too young for all that when I turn 22 I will begin". Time flies faster than the rocket though slowly moving like the tortoise.

Four years have passed and he went under the same tree and soliloquies "I am 22 years old now and I am still very young for all these shouldn't I wait a little longer, let me wait till I turn 25 by then I have metamorphosed into a full grown man".

Time may seem slow but it's ways are like the ways of God, slow but steady. He celebrated his 25th birthday. "I need to really start working hard now but is it worth it, let me wait till I turn 30, yes I will get married at 30 my wife and I will work our ass off. He procrastinated again. He turned 30. I don't think I need a wife now I don't have money to take care of her let me wait till I turn 40 by then I will be a rich man but how, yes the lottery, I will win the lottery. He turned 40. To win this lottery is tougher than I thought. I have to keep playing till 50 maybe God will answer my prayer, yes God will answer my prayer. Before he knew it, he was a 50 year old man. He became sick and because he didn't have any money to treat himself he died a poor wretched fool.

Procrastination is the thief of time. If you must succeed, if you are willing to go somewhere, to be a pace setter, you must conquer the temptation of procrastination.

2) SPENDING MORE

        "Seest thou a man frugal in his dealings, he shall stand before kings he shall not stand before mean men". Frugality is one of the basic secrets of success yet unknown to many. A frugal man stands unshakeable even in times of crisis because he has a backup plan. You can call it a backup cash but whatever the case maybe or whenever emergency calls he is more than ready because he has some part of his earnings saved in the dashboard. He can withdraw from there anytime contingency calls. Spending more than you earn is an easy way to accumulate debt. Borrowing here and there. There is definitely no way in hell you can become successful by spending more than you can afford. To get high in life one must discipline himself in his dealings with cash. Money is like air put in a bottle, if not contained properly will blow into thin air. I know it's tempting to see your mates lavishing and enjoying their money, spending on women, drinks, meats, smokes, but to become a high valued man of success one must discipline himself to overcome all the goodies and temptations of a youthful life. You can ask Warren Buffett. Am not asking you not to enjoy your life, who no like better thing, all am saying is save a little part of your earnings for your future. Suffer now enjoy later.

3) LAZINESS

       They said it's no longer about hardwork but smart work: You don't need to work hard just be smart. They forgot "even smart work requires a whole load of brain work to pass it's test". Work hard. You can't make any progress sitting on the couch all day watching TV. And I am not even sure you can succeed with that your 8-5 job. Put in real work, maybe a side hustle. Don't be lazy. Don't be like the bird who gave all it's feathers to the farmer in exchange for worm and later died in the process. Being lazy can tempt you to look for easy ways to make money which might affect you in the long run. Just like procrastination allowing laziness take over your life will lead to only God knows where. Experts suggest that laziness may be caused by a decreased level of motivation lack of interest and confidence which in turn can be caused by over stimulation or excessive impulses or distractions. These increase the release of dopamine a neurotransmitter responsible for reward and pleasure. In order to overcome laziness one needs to set manageable goals or rather realistic goals, avoid distractions, read self help books for motivation purposes, have love for what you do. A man who works hard and smart at the same time will achieve more and even faster than the man who chooses just to be smart.

4) BLAME GAME

        Who's fault? You know it's very easy to point your fingers at someone accusing them of being part of your problems in life. It's always someone else's fault. The Blame Game. Unsuccessful people have the habit of blaming the whole world but themselves. They blame the society, the government, the economy, their parents, their job and even God for their failures. Forgetting that everyman is responsible and also accountable for his actions in life. Do you wish to go far? Blame no man for your mistakes. Take action and also be responsible for every action taken by you. Be consciously aware of every move you make for your growth in life. Don't stress, don't regret for everything you did in the past was what you really wanted. Because things didn't work out the way you planned doesn't make you a failure. At least you tried and failed. It's called Failing Forward.

Own your actions and blame no one. God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers. Every pain gives a lesson and every lesson changes a person. If your plan doesn't work out, embrace your mistakes and learn from them. Blame no one and like I said "every pain teaches a lesson and every lesson changes a person". The pain may hurt but stay true to yourself even if it hurts. Own up. Be a man's man.

5) GOSSIP

      Hey listen the tittle tattler, ain't no future bright for the backstabbers. I wonder why people sit, discuss and tarnish other people's image rather than engaging in meaningful activities that would enrich their lives for good. What would you gain from backstabbing and tarnishing your fellow man's image? Gossipers make no progress and if you really want to be stagnant in life, you can as well join the gossipers wagon. These set of people do nothing other than sit all day and talk. Not meaningful conversations but unnecessary chats that won't add a Kobo in their account. How do you intend to succeed when you gossip about the media, the musicians, the footballers, your neighbor, your boss, etc. Talk less and listen more for sufferings are for those who do not want to learn. Don't sit at a table where they talk about others because when you get up, you are the next topic. Gossiping can simply be defined as sitting idle and talking behind someone's back. Gossipers make no progress. You ain't going anywhere if you derive joy in backstabbing your fellow man. And I assure you, you won't move an inch if you obtain happiness in tarnishing another man's image.

6) WOMANIZING/ALCOHOL

       Even God who made one woman for the man had a reason for doing so. And like the bible said He is all knowing. I have a friend, back then in 2021, he got an opportunity that gave him a lot of money. But this guy was busy spending and lavishing all his money on drinks and women. Today, he is as empty as Sahara desert. A wise son maketh a glad father but a foolish son despiseth his mother.

Nothing eats a man's money and reduces him to nothing other than women and alcohol. Truly, any man who can control his erotic urge has overcomes the ultimate drainer of pockets. Nothing wears down a man's pocket other than multiple girlfriends. Alcohol will help in draining his future drastically. Note: the lack of control of alcohol. You can't expect a man to drink himself to stupor and still work at his highest level. Beware of seductive women. Avoid excessive intake of alcohol. One woman is enough for you if you truly want to go far in life. Behind every successful man their is a woman. They didn't say women. Control your drinking habits. A womanizer is  a man who engages in numerous casual sexual affairs with women. Multiple girlfriends. To excel in life you need to control your sexual desires. A word is enough for the wise.

7) LIVING IN THE MOMENT

        It's true they said we should forget our past and live in the moment but, living in the moment also has it's consequences and that is when you don't plan for the future. It's definitely good and okay to forget and not regret every damn thing that happened in your life. Remembering past experiences can be traumatizing and energy draining. Past occurrences have a way of sneaking into our thoughts, making us worriers and draining all the energy we have pumping in our blood. Forget your past, live in the moment but don't forget to plan for the future. Living in the moment is like embarking on a spending spree lavishing every single Kobo you have while forgetting that there is a place called tomorrow. 

     Experts, gurus, professionals, etc, may seem to have had it all made but no one's perfect. The gurus and experts make mistakes too. Even the genius asks questions. Everything have advantages and disadvantages. Living in the moment's advantage is forgetting the past but its disadvantage is sidelining the future for a short enjoyment. Throwing big bucks because you believe life is short and that you should have all the fun now; what if we don't see tomorrow? Look, don't get me wrong, it's definitely a good virtue to live in the moment but when we totally forget to plant seeds for the future, we might live long enough to regret it one day. Past is experience. Present is experiment. Future is expectation. So use your experience in your experiments to make your expectations come true. 

Forget the past, live in the moment but don't forget to plan for the future.